Conflicting Thoughts
by PeachSunset
Summary: Barry came back for a short visit and Oliver's jealousy caught everyone's attention making Felicity angry. Diggle tries to tell Oliver that it is too late to not care because he already does but he refuses to believe it. His conflicting thoughts begin to ruin his relationship with Felicity but will he realize he was wrong before it is too late?
1. Honestly

"Hey boys!" Felicity chirped as she skipped down the steps into HQ.

Oliver spun around. "Hello, Felicity."

"Guess who decided to pay us a visit?"

He looked behind Felicity's shoulder. "Barry," he sighed.

"Nice to see you again, Oliver," Barry extended a hand out but Oliver was reluctant to remove his arms from the crossed position on his chest. He just stared disapprovingly at Barry until he turned away. Felicity shot him a glance but Oliver had already looked the other way. For quite a stretch of time there was not a sound. Felicity broke the silence. "Well, Barry and I were going to get lunch. Would either of you would like to come?"

"No thanks. I've got some work I need to do," Oliver turned around and started typing on the computer.

Felicity looked in Diggle's direction. "How about you?"

"You two go ahead. Good to see you Barry."

"Alright, then. See you both later." Felicity waved as she turned to walk up the stairs. Within moments, the door closed and they were gone. Diggle walked over to where Oliver stared at the computer screen. "If you like her, which I know you do, you have to make your move. Or you'll —"

"Diggle." Oliver pushed the chair back and stood up. "Stop."

"Look man. I'm just saying you'll lose her."

"I'm serious, Diggle. Stop. I am not going to talk about this."

"Well, you don't have to talk. Just listen for a second. I know you don't want to lose Felicity. Especially not to Barry."

"That is the point, Diggle! I don't want to lose her. And just like everyone else I care about, I will. I can't be with someone I could care too much about."

"What made you say _that_?"

Oliver started to get angry. He started yelling. "Because I WILL lose her! And it would hurt too much if I cared that much about her. You know how many times I have _barely _saved her? You don't understand. I can't risk it hurting so much."

"No, _you_ don't understand, Oliver. You _already _care that much. You are just trying to tell yourself that you don't. Look man, stop giving yourself excuses."

Oliver had had enough. "Just stop. I need some air." He started stomping up the stairs when Diggle called after him, "Don't do anything stupid." Oliver just shook his head and slammed the door behind him.

Oliver had been in his office for three hours and still had not done any work at all. He just sat and stared pensively out the window, down at the lively Starling City. He still refused to take Diggle's words into consideration even though they were still on his mind. His thoughts were going a hundred miles a minute and he could barely keep up. _What I am doing is the right thing. I can't let it hurt. I will lose her. I can't let her get hurt. I can't care that much. _His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his door. "Who is— hi Felicity."

"Hey Oliver. Can I talk to you about something?"

"Uhh, sure."

Felicity came and sat down at one of the chairs in front of Oliver's desk. "What do you think of Barry and me?"

"Honestly?" Oliver asked.

"No, lie to me." Felicity rolled her eyes, "Yes, honestly."

"I don't like it." Oliver had a completely straight face, and Felicity was not surprised. She just nodded. "I thought so. Why not?"

"I don't like Barry, that's why." He began to cross his arms again. He could tell she was getting more and more frustrated with him. "What do you have against him? What did he ever do to you?"

"I just don't think he is right for you. I—"

"No. You're not my father, Oliver! You are my partner and my boss! Leave the disapproving daddy act for Thea and her boyfriends." _Bzzz._ Felicity took her phone out of her purse and looked at it. She stood up and looked Oliver dead in the eyes. "I have to go. I am meeting Barry for dinner."

Oliver was shocked. He could barely get a word out before she walked out the door. "Wait—"

"Save it, Oliver. You're not my father. I'll see you later." She whipped back around and walked away without pausing to look at him once. Diggle's words echoed in his mind. _You'll lose her. _And he was. His "plan" wasn't quite going as well as he had wanted. But even this wasn't making him think about changing what he was doing. _I just need to give her some space. _That was what he decided he would do.


	2. The Fallout

It had been close to a week since Felicity made it clear that she wasn't pleased with the way Oliver had been acting when she was with Barry. Sometimes he wanted to call or text her to say that he was sorry but he kept telling himself that she needed some space. Even if she was probably using that space to be with… _Barry._

He had finally decided that he would try to go to HQ and thankfully it was only Diggle who was there. "So, have you talked with Felicity at all?" Diggle asked, surprisingly eager to hear what Oliver was going to say.

Oliver responded as he began to fiddle with a couple of his arrows, "I have spoken to her, yes."

"How did it go?" Oliver could tell he had peaked Diggle's interest.

"Well it was last week. I decided to give her some space. She was not happy with what I said."

"C'mon man. What did you say that screwed this all up?"

"She asked how I liked her and Barry. She said she wanted the truth."

"Now you just look like a jealous ass. Go and talk to her. You know how you feel. I know how you feel. But do you know what the problem is with that, Oliver?"

"No. What is the problem with that, Diggle?"

"The problem is that I'm not Felicity." Diggle's response got a little chuckle out of Oliver, "I already told you, Diggle. I can't be with her beca—"

"I know," Diggle rolled his eyes, "you can't be with her because you could care about her too much and when you "lose" her, it will hurt too much."

"Yes."

Before Oliver could say anything else Diggle started to reply. "But tell me one thing. If you lost Felicity _right now, _would it hurt that much less?"

Oliver nodded. "Yes. I think so."

"See, I don't believe you. I think that you are just telling yourself that. But the thing I don't understand is why you do that. It is to the benefit of no one. Not you, not Felicity, not anyone. Even I have to deal with all this damn sexual tension in the office. I just don't get it.

"Well you don't have to "get it". You just have to accept it."

"Okay. I'll stop trying. But you'll lose her to Barry. You'll lose her to other guys. You'll just lose her. And you will _never_ stop caring for her."

"Alright, I came down here to escape ridicule, and here I am, once again, at the receiving end of more. I will catch you later Diggle, I have to go to the office." Oliver climbed the stairs and left.

Luckily, Felicity was not at the office. Oliver couldn't help but to think that she was off with Barry somewhere. _No. I shouldn't care about this. _But he did, and Diggle was right, Oliver just didn't want to admit it. But he finally made the decision to call Felicity. There was no answer just like he expected. So he left a message, "Hey Felicity, it's me, Oliver. I was wondering if you could meet me at the office. I have something I need to talk to you about."

Within twenty minutes, Felicity was standing at his door looking a little anxious. He beckoned her towards his desk. He was about speak when Felicity spat out everything. "If you called me here to fire me I am not sorry for what I said but I really _really _don't want to be fired just put me back down in the IT department where I belong I don't need to be part of your super team I am fine just being the IT girl I really am and I really am not sorry for what I said last week but please—"

"Whoa, Felicity. I didn't call you here to fire you."

Felicity looked both relieved and confused. "Oh."

"Yeah. I called you because I wanted to say I was sorry."

"Oh, okay." Felicity sat down, "But I hope you know that I'm not sorry."

"Yes, I think you said a couple times."

She smiled a little embarrassed smile. "Oh. Right."

"Well, that's all. I wanted to give you some space but I thought that I aught to check in and see how you were."

"I'm fine. Thanks."

"And for the record, Diggle thought I was a jealous ass."

Felicity giggled. "Well you _were _an ass."

"So what have you been up to this past week?"

"Oliver. We don't need to do this right now."

"Well I was just wondering if you were hanging out with Barry or if he—"

Felicity's smile quickly turned into a frown. "Really Oliver?! I thought you were sorry for what you said! You know what. I think I need a little more space this time." Just like that, Felicity had stood up, flattened out her kitten skirt, and walked straight out of the office.

Oliver put his hands on his forehead for a moment and then his right fist came down like a hammer. "DAMN IT!"


	3. Hero

Two weeks and a day. Not one call. Felicity hadn't shown up for work or gone to HQ at all. "Well maybe it's because two strikes in a row was enough for her," Diggle said.

"All I did was ask her what she did during her break." Oliver was still confused as to why Felicity had gotten so upset after such an innocent question.

"She told you not to pry into her relationship with Barry. That is the first place you went after you apologized. Dick move."

"I don't know. It's just hard to talk to her when Barry is probably waiting for her in the car."

"I told you what to say. I find it sort of funny that you face up to criminals basically every day and you can't face up to your feelings for a girl."

"Ha ha. Very funny, Digg." No matter how much he wanted to deny it, Oliver's heart ached because of all of the thoughts that flooded his mind. _What if she hates me? She will probably never want to see me again. I'm losing her. I'm losing her to Barry. She's going to stay with Barry. I want her to come back. I need her. _He just shook his head to try to get those ideas out of his head. "You like her, she definitely likes you. You're the one that is pushing her away. You are screwing this thing up because you think you're "doing the right thing". Do you feel like this is the right thing? Felicity not showing up to work or coming to HQ ever? I don't think it's right and I'm not even the one who's in love with her."

"Diggle, I don't need this again. I told you why—" _Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz._ It was Oliver's phone. It was Felicity. He picked it up but before he could say anything a man's voice came from the other end. "So, Oliver Queen. You're the vigilante. I can't believe that no one has guessed that. I have your little blond bitch here, she has actually put up quite a fight."

"What do you want?!" Oliver yelled into the phone.

"Well, Mr. Queen. I want a lot of things. My life was destroyed because of your family and what I really, _truly _want is you to feel the same way I did when my wife was crushed in our apartment."

"Oliver!" He could faintly hear Felicity's voice on the other end. "Shut up, bitch," the man's hoarse voice came back onto the speaker, "I want you to come here. You'll come without your super-suit. And I want you to watch her like I watched my wife die."

"If you touch her," Oliver's teeth were clenched, "I swear to god I'll—" but the other line had gone dead. Oliver gave Diggle a look so sharp it could've pierced a diamond. "You tracked it right?"

"Yes, I did."

"Good, because I'm going now," he started running up the stairs, two at a time. "Wait," Diggle called after him, "aren't you gonna suit up?"

"He said no suit. So, no suit. I'm not taking any chances with this one." He turned around and ran out.

He must have sped through at least five lights because less than ten minutes had gone by when Oliver arrived at the secluded park where the man had Felicity in a chokehold. She kept trying to wrestle away but he would just grip tighter. Oliver ran towards them. "Stop where you are," the man commanded. There was blood on Felicity's shirt. "You don't have to do this. She didn't do anything. Please don't do this," it was a strange thing, Oliver begging. "Yes but your family did something. Your family killed my wife. And you deserve to suffer the way I did," the man's free hand was clenched around a knife at his side. "I'm sorry your wife died beca—"

"Murdered. She was _murdered_."

"So you are going to murder someone? Someone innocent?"

"I would rather call it revenge."

"Either way. It isn't the best way to go about things." Oliver did not think that reasoning with this man would be as hard as it was. "I don't know about you, but I am done talking." The man raised the knife up to Felicity's neck. "It's time for you to pay a well-deserved price." Just as he was about to slit her throat, Oliver reached into his boot and whipped a pocketknife into the attacker's neck. The man fell back and Felicity collapsed onto the ground. Oliver sprinted to her and found that she was passed out in the dirt. He held her head on his lap. He looked at the scratches on her face. The knife had just nicked her jaw. Diggle was right. He already did care a lot. He actually almost lost her and it was ripping him up inside. _At least she will be okay, _he thought. His epiphany was interrupted by Felicity's voice. "Oliver?" She was looking straight up at him. He smiled for the first time he had all day. "I'm here. I'm here Felicity. I'm so sorry."

"You saved me. _Again,_" she tried to sit up, "Ow. Ow." Felicity lifted her shirt up just enough to reveal a long cut that went from the left side of her ribcage down close to her hip. "That'll leave a scar." She looked up, meeting Oliver's gaze. It had been a while since she'd given him that look. Oliver stood and helped Felicity back up into a standing position. "I need to get you back to HQ so we can patch you up." He walked her to the car and they drove back to the club.

Felicity spent close to an hour washing herself off in the restroom before letting Oliver bandage what wounds she had. "Better?" Oliver still looked quite concerned. "Better," she replied. Diggle finally spoke up. "I'm glad you are okay Felicity. I was worried for a while."

"Thanks, Diggle. I'll be okay though." She smiled.

"Well if you guys don't mind, I'm going to go back home. It has been a long day, as I'm sure you both know."

Oliver looked at him, "Bye Digg."


	4. At Last

Oliver walked Felicity down the hall of her apartment building. "This is me," Felicity pointed to the right. Oliver just nodded. She pulled out her keys and unlocked the door. When she opened it, she turned around. "Thanks again for saving me, Oliver."

"I had to. I wasn't going to let that guy kill you for a vendetta he had against my family." He looked at her. All of her makeup was off because she had washed her face at HQ. He had never noticed how amazing she looked without it.

"Um, do you want to come in? I could get you some coffee. Or hard liquor," Oliver gave her a strange look. "Which I don't have. Because it was a joke… but do you want to come in?" Oliver shrugged. "I guess." He looked around the living room. The furniture reminded him of the dollhouse Thea used to play with when she was younger. To Oliver, everything was petite, like Felicity. She sat on one of the couches and patted the cushion next to her, so he came and sat. "So how have you been lately?" Oliver asked, trying to make conversation. "Oh, you mean besides being kidnapped by some crazy dude? I have been okay." Her smile was contagious. "I've mostly been sitting at home watching those terribly cheesy Hallmark movies. They are _really_ dumb but I just needed some me time."

Oliver raised his eyebrow. "It's nice to know what you like to do when you are avoiding other people."

"Well I wasn't _avoiding. _More just not talking to you because I was upset."

"Yeah, sorry to ask this but wasn't Barry with you?" Felicity just sighed. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked that, that is the whole reason we were in this mess."

She was looking down, fidgeting with her hands. "No it's fine. Barry left a week ago. He couldn't have helped."

"A week? Why didn't you come in at all?"

"Like I said, I needed some me time."

"Hey, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's not your fau—"

"No, I mean I'm sorry for being such a douche bag. I was just jealous."

Felicity looked up, confused. "What were you jealous of? Barry? Come on Oliver. You're the one who basically told me you didn't like me in _that _way." Her tone wasn't angry this time though. She was just stating a fact. Oliver had more or less declined a relationship after they had come back from Russia. He decided that he wasn't going to go by that plan anymore, though. Diggle was right when he told Oliver that he already cared a lot. "Felicity," he looked her at her tired face, "what if I told you I was wrong in Moscow?"

She stood up. "I would tell you that you are right. Right now, I mean." It was obvious she was getting uncomfortable with the situation at hand. "Felicity, sit down. I'm not trying to make you feel weird." She sat back down, but she still looked uncomfortable. "I'm tired of lying to you… I'm tired of lying to myself."

They were looking straight at each other again. There was a pause of silence but then Oliver put his hand toward the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. It wasn't long, but it was a sweet kiss. When he pulled away, he just looked at her. Felicity realized that she wasn't uncomfortable anymore. But she felt her cheeks get hot, which meant that they were getting redder by the second. They stared at each other for a moment, but then Oliver leaned in to kiss her again. This time, it was longer, more passionate. He put his hands on her sides but she pulled away. "Ow. Ow." He had touched her cut.

"Sorry." But she just smiled. "It's okay," and grabbed his shirt and pulled him back in. Oliver picked her up and carried her to the other room. He laid her gently on the bed, kissing her the entire time, and they resumed only pausing to breath.

Oliver had finally made his move. He was tired of holding back his feelings for Felicity. The whole night, he didn't worry himself thinking about whether or not he'd lose her because right then and there, _he had her._ She was his and he was hers. Not a single thing in the world could tear them apart. This time he would not let her go. He wouldn't push her away. He would keep her close and just _kiss her_.

**Hey guys, I hope you liked it! It's my first multi-chapter story, so let me know. ;)**


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